Fear

Okay, So I feel like I’ve done nothing today.
I did wake up super early and do a bunch of stuff, but I also spent the whole afternoon asleep and then watched two episodes of a TV show and a movie after that.

This week, I donated blood for the first time in my life. I  dislike doctors and hospitals and places that take care of people who cant take care of themselves. I’m not sure if its a cleanliness issue or seeing sick people, I just don’t like it, and always try to get out of it. But on Tuesday, I decided to donate blood. I don’t actually do a lot of ‘nice’ things for people and I felt that by donating blood, I would at least help someone with some issue without having to be there in person.
I always try to tell people who are worried about needles or injections that its fine, but in fact, I’m terrified of injections and needles going into my body. I’m terrified of the doctor checking my blood pressure or looking inside my ear. I’m no fan of the dentist drilling into my mouth or taking an x-ray.

Anyway, when I face this fear, I feel that each time a little bit of that fear goes away. I have major dental issues, I like to say I have perfect teeth but there is only one tooth that causes trouble. When  I was little, I was so scared of going to the dentist that I ignored the little crack in the tooth, then I ignored the hole that was created because of the crack, then I ignored the pain until it got so bad that I had to go to the dentist. Now, four fillings, 10 injections, one extraction and a root canal later, I’m no longer scared of the dentist.

I was glad when the doctor said I was healthy enough to donate; but, at the same time, I didn’t want to actually go through with the whole thing.
Even if I freaked out a bit I did it. I took my shoes off and got into the bed and let the doctor inject a needle into my vein. Straight away, I wanted it out, It hurt a lot and it didn’t go away. People always say the pain goes away after a few minutes. I think, your brain just gets used to it being there and you forget about it. After about ten minutes it was time to take the needle out and that hurt a lot too and they put a band-aid on that was hell to take off. But in the end, I saved three lives and that was way more important than a little needle.

This was supposed to be some sort of weekly update but it turned into some ‘facing your fears’ rant. Don’t worry, there will be many weekly updates and probably a few more rants.
But until then,

-your curly haired comrade

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